So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize