So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
