it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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