If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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