I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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