summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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