i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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