I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
