im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
