Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
