I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
