I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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