thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
im having a threesome with these popsicles
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
