maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
