he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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