John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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