I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
my sisters under your porch take her home
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Randomize
