She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
