new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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