i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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