Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
