She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
