PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
