doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
