Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
