i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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