Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
