Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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