Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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