I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
you made out with another girl for some wings
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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