Apparently you make a good broom.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
