I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
