i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
