all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize