i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
