So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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