I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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