I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm always down for nudity.
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