every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
