You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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