suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
