you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize