I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
