My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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