i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
