After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
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