It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I need water and some morals
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize