I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
