3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
