Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
