You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I met the friendliest cop last night
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
