3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
