If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We had sex on a dog bed..
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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