i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
