I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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