It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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