I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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