btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
