i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
