I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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