If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
