Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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