Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
