I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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