I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
handjob tips. give me some.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
