we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
