chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
