why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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