Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
