no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
